Ever wonder what happens when you get separated from your husband in
Walmart?

The following letter was sent to a long time patron of a local Walmart
Store. After receiving this letter, she vowed that she would NEVER take her
husband shopping with her again!!!

January 12, 2006

Re: Mr. Bill Fenton: Multiple Complaints

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing
quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and
have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores
. We have documented all 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse
is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, Code
3 in house wares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry
and asks 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes
the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And, last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile;
then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" Laughing